Once upon a time, I believed in love - I believed in you.
Now here upon a time, I know not much of even what I think I have come to know.
I doubt nothing in this world could have ever prepared me
for the blessings of these cursed lessons you brought me this far to know:
For with all these broken hopes and promises, you taught me that happiness
was not a privilege; but rather an endless, selfish and lonely fight for purpose.
And with each selected harshest of words uttered on weary Monday nights,
you were teaching me of my worthlessness.
You taught me how the concept of family was but a farce;
and that home was a stunning illusion - a stealthy tool for subjection.
With your unwavering rants and groomed devaluations - you taught me how some of
men were to endure their silent battles of the mind - to die even if they had to.
"You are a disgraceful weakling" - you said. Gracias! Now I guess I am something better;
A Master of Deaths and Rebirths. For I died many-a-nights and yet borne the mark of the living
by the morning's break. O! What a fine craftsman of the fake and picture-perfect life I became.
The knitter of charm and confidences!
Glamoured with prime disrespect, you showed me how my honor was non-existent,
not even to the moppets. It had to be only mine to see and believe in.
And in faultless blend of sanctimony and blatant hatred, you taught me how to live
without the greatest Love I'd ever know. You took her apart from me.
My greatest lesson still, I judge, was your teaching me how I was entitled to nothing -
how my sweat was what was always needed to bring up a reaping or benefit.
But how could I hate these lessons or you? When they taught me so much not even
my scholarly explorations could find?
Say! Could I have ever grown up to be a man-in-a-little boy or in such a decade-early?
Or but not for your glaring preferences and neglect, would I have ever known of the
other side of the life I hoped to have?
Your dilapidation consolidated my faith in the Divine,
So maybe a gem to the Maker's crown you still remain.
For they said "desperate people find faith",
So I guess I should thank you - for now I pray to the Forces too!
So now, here upon a time, I still believe in Love.
But more as a distorted, failing compendium of pain in varying shades.
But so much good it has done me: now I know all that I shouldn't be when I get to be in your shoes.
But most importantly, now I believe in Me - as my only beginning and all through my end.
I have become everything you never gave.
I became something I could not recognize.
Yet now I am all the joy, home, help and hope I could have ever known.
I am Me. I am Free. I am bruised but I am everything I needed you to be.
So thank you still - for these lessons you taught Me!
"This piece is to simply draw an eye (even a corner of it),to the almost-neglected issue of male-child abuse and mental health. Let's make every child's life matter."
Thank you.
Hmmmm...
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