She raised many giants, yet now fights among the dwarfs;
Scaled mountains in others’ quest, yet barely scampers a foot-high hill now.
Known to many-a-threshers, yet in long-yearning for a thirst-quenching sap in the dreariest hour.
Surrounded yet alone.
Loud yet dying in silence.
In the lonely hour, all comes so clear and brought to bare.
Will the ones she has loved love the one the ones were loved by?
Or would there be affections and inceptions unrequited?
Where does she stand when the feet grow weary? And where does the she-warrior lay her head when she’s conquered all others’ battles save her own?
Who sings to the hummingbird when the song & air are gone from her chords? And who guides the Guide when the fog comes in earlier than her late age?
Does it hurt, that she held this pendant in requiem for her always-loved; be he near or far; only to see his blind eye when all but the pendant had been given away in exchange for her breathe?
Lonely hearts do have a penchant for being fools indeed.
Perhaps she learns the lesson too late.
She is never told, lest she lives it; paying in its stead with her failing breathe;
That within the fine tailings that compose Man, is the innate quest to be self-serving.
“O it does indeed take an Angel to walk in the fire with you in the lonely hour - barring charred digits and the fear of the early smell of smoke”.
Hers was once a heart in which sat a garden - many gathered to pluck her roses and sunnies for their flamboyance.
Today she seeks watering - she’s rather bequeathed with just the can - for none can stand the thorns the once-adored roses bore.
In the lonely place, she stands naked - all mirror to her - her past, her defenses, her flaws. None the one to care for the lack of love that unveiled her insanity.
None bears to stand by the broken!
Together? She holds herself together! Broken, bruised and despised - the old ruin holds it all together. The narcissistic monster of a woman-child holds it together.
The Devil-cloned, the worm out of the hearts of the once-loved. The treacherous all-knowing, the spite of happy celebrations! Yet she holds it together!
In tears she holds it together, in pain she holds it together! She craves the understanding of the ones she once fenced; it’s quiet; all they, by the one - and by the many, have fenced her away to her doom.
But here in the lonely place, she searches for a Friend. At her lowest, all her walls smothered, all joys fluttered out the window, 49 days of fearful strength displayed, she searches for One. She cries. She screams. Yet her voice is muffled by the need to not stop pushing - her cries are drowned in the billows of each soul’s life bustles.
Within travailing shrills of the cold night, and the eerie gray glow engulfing the moon; on a night when hopelessness drapes around her shrunken body, she still breaks her lungs to Bolton’s lyrical embrace:
“ I’m gonna break these chains around me,
Gonna learn to fly again.
May be hard, but I'll do it.
When I'm back on my feet again
Soon these tears will all be dryin'
Soon these eyes will see the sun
Might take time, but I'll see it
When I'm back on my feet again”
It is there the arrow of fortune drop at her feet. A two-pronged dagger to pierce her path through the cloudy, lonely night. One pointing to the continuous search of the ONE. “He will find you; after all the years of pain and it seems there’s none more, there will be One!”
The other, an embracing of her heart! A reminder that she by herself is a one-of-a-kind kind of one-of-a-kind Force of Existence. Only if her name, made in pain yet perfect. Pressured yet the purest diamond. Old yet the best wine! Ah! What a heart! What a Woman!
And so on this one lonely, the narrative changed.
The tables didn’t turn - she shifted her place. She sits at the head.
The fear of Alone crippled her once vibrant heart - but no more.
Tonight she still sleeps in the lonely night - but it is Night that stays up Alone!
für Lech Emile
🙏🍻
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